


when every bone is healed (and every stitch is sewn)

by parrotfish_elliot



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Bisexual Dennis Reynolds, Dennis is a Vet and Mac is a Regular Patient, Dennis thinks Mac is hot lmao, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Veterinarian AU, i dont know how to tag things fdjsdkjh, theres lots of cats and dogs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-08-25 12:40:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16661311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parrotfish_elliot/pseuds/parrotfish_elliot
Summary: dr. dennis reynolds has been a vet for years, and he's never once had an actual "regular". some pets return months later for another checkup, and some of them he remembers the name of after so many visits, but its unheard of for the same pet to come in month after month for differing reasons.that was before he met mac and his weirdass dog.





	1. chapter one

In Dennis Reynolds’ profession, regulars weren’t a common occurrence- actually, if there were any, they usually wouldn’t be coming back for long. Now, don’t misunderstand; this isn’t because of bad business on his part or disloyalty on his customer’s part, but rather because the veterinarian business isn’t the kind of business most people would visit monthly or even bimonthly if they could help it.

Mr. McDonald (“You can just call me Mac!”), much to Dr. Reynolds’ vexation, was not most people, and his dog Poppins was far from most dogs, and by his seventh visit, Dennis was more than a bit discomfited.

But let’s not start there. Let’s rewind just a bit, and set the scene. The clock is ticking closer to closing time by the second, and Dennis couldn’t be bothered to focus on checking his earlier patients’ charts at that point. 

It had been a long,  _ long  _ day- most winter days were. Hypochondrial pet parents were always bustling through the door claiming that their poor baby caught pneumonia or was developing frostbite in their paws or tails. Sure, it was good cash, but one can only see so many mangy pups wearing the dog version of Uggs in a day without going insane. 

If that weren’t bad enough, Jack the Office Cat decided just today that pens were not only good for writing but also for consuming without remorse. The problem didn’t lie in the fact that Jack was eating pens- he’d be fine, he’s eaten worse- but rather in the fact that he was eating  _ Dennis’  _ pens, which meant Dennis had to use pencils like a fucking moron. He didn’t get his PhD to use pencils, goddammit!

Thus it was understandable when he didn’t even attempt to hide his scowl upon hearing the bell above the door ring, as not only did it signify him of a new customer but it also woke up one of the more obnoxious overnight patients, and that’s just not okay. 

Even so, a job is a job no matter the time or the attitude, so he took a deep breath and prepared himself for whatever dramatics he would be subjected to next. As he lacked the funds to hire a secretary (his goddamn sister just  _ had _ to quit), he was forced to go out and greet the animal- or, uh, the human, or whatever- himself. 

The image that greeted him when he stepped out of his office was… Unexpected, to say the least. Picture a man of average height, bundled up in at least three coats and the thickest scarf Forever 21 sells, unshaven face flushed with what Dennis presumed to be cold, holding a dog that looked to be about three feet in the grave and one foot missing. No, the dog had no protection against the cold, and no, the dog didn’t seem bothered by that in any manner. 

The man’s face lit up when he saw Dennis, and the arms holding the dog (if you could even call it that) dropped in favor of offering his gloved hand to shake. The dog was characteristically unperturbed by it’s sudden drop to the floor and simply took the opportunity to lay down in a way that horrifically resembled death.

Dennis, a bit unsettled but stubbornly attempting to remain unshaken, took the man’s hand and shook it politely. Upon realizing that the man wasn’t going to speak first, he launched into his usual opening.  “Hello, sir, I’m Dr. Reynolds’ of Reynolds Veterinary Clinic, are you here on an appointment?” 

Seemingly snapping out of whatever daze he was in, the (odd and growing odder by the minute) man responded in one breath. “No, sorry, but my dog needs help and you’re the closest vet I know of and I couldn’t drive because my fucking roommate crashed my car but anyways hi I’m Mac and the awesome dog down there is Poppins.” As he was speaking, he was also taking off his layers of coats, clearly assuming that Dennis would allow him to stay without an appointment.

As the clinic wasn’t technically appointment only and this case looked interesting in its own right, Dennis decided to take the bait. “Okay, sure, just tell me what the problem is and fill out this paperwork and I’ll look at him right away. Also, is he good with cats? He’s not allowed off leash if he’s a danger to Jack Bauer.” 

“No, he’s awesome, dude! No problems with cats at all, ‘cuz like, he’s too lazy to chase them, y’know? So anyways, Charlie and me were just sitting there watching Lethal Weapon, right, and this little fucker comes over and starts puking up his guts, which, although super badass, makes no sense because the only thing we fed him today was fried chicken and dogs  _ love _ chicken, right?” Damn, this guy could talk.

Dennis, to his credit, nodded along respectfully and decided most of the questions that raised were better left unanswered. “So he was barfing substantially because of fried chicken? Is that all, or were there other things?” He said this while handing Mac the paperwork and a fucking  _ pencil,  _ which frankly was an embarrassment to the world of legal documents and writing utensils alike.

Unfortunately, asking for more details was (predictably) a stupid thing to do. “Oh, yeah, also he’s been fainting for like thirty minutes at a time for the last week and barking at nothing, so I’m pretty sure he’s seeing ghosts? I don’t know, you’re the expert, can you ask him if he’s seeing ghosts?”

“Can I ask him- sir, no offense intended, but I’m confident your dog isn’t seeing ghosts. It’s likely he’s just being a dog. Listen, just fill out the paperwork and I’ll take him back as soon as possible.” He pinched the bridge of his nose tiredly, wishing not for the first time that he hadn’t gone into a job in which he had to deal with  _ people _ .

After that perplexing conversation finally drew to an end, Mac finally handed over his paperwork. Dennis lazily glanced through it, only stopping to stare at the age Mac had put down for Poppins. “Mr. McDonald, it says here that your dog is seventeen years old?”

Mac nodded and confirmed it cheerily, not bothering to explain how that was possible despite the average age of dogs of Poppins size being closer to twelve years but instead just saying, “Yeah, he’s still pretty young, I know!” 

Deciding that explaining how dog years work wouldn’t be worth his time, Dennis just sighed and picked Poppins up, carefully carrying him to the examination room. Miraculously, the dog stayed asleep the entire time.

Mac followed after him like a lost puppy, intermittently asking questions and making comments about the decor choice of the clinic. Dennis mostly tuned him out aside from providing clarification when Mac asked about the bi flag sticker on the file cabinets. He went back to tuning him out when Mac started rambling about how  _ he’s  _ not gay but how his fucking Catholic preacher or whatever the shit says it would be fine if he  _ was  _ gay. But he’s not, which he clarified repeatedly to Dennis, who only had the patience to casually mutter, “Shame, that.” 

The examination was fairly procedural, though the detailed explanation of how Mac found Poppins in an alley behind a Wawa that he used to sell weed in back when he was his high school drug dealer or some shit wasn’t expected or routine. 

As it turned out, Poppins just had a stomach bug from eating raw chicken and what Mac thought was fainting spells was actually just a tired dog taking naps during the day. He gave Mac the proper meds and went over the instructions on how and when to give them to Poppins four times before finally believing that Mac understood it. He wrote Mac a bill and laughed at his face when he realized that Reynolds Veterinary Clinic costs  _ far _ less than his competitors (why overprice the health of innocent animals?). He did his best to smile politely as Mac put his prestigious amount of coats back on, and smiled more when Mac shoved a business card into his pocket. 

Though he’d deny it many times over in the future, Dennis found himself sad to see Mac go- he was the only interesting thing that happened that week.

Even so, he was less than exhilarated when Mac showed up again not three weeks later with that goddamn mutt in tow.


	2. chapter two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so i said something abt posting every sunday but i can explain. i was watching superstore and then i went to my dads house so i didnt post oh well!!! anyways heres chapter two

This day, again, started normally; cats with cancer, a stray who needed an amputation, the miracle of dog birth, all normal things. He didn’t even bother to check his appointment schedule that day because Dee was helping him “out of the goodness of her heart”. The reality was, she was only helping in exchange for Dennis cat-sitting her piece of shit furball Groban. 

She was actually doing fairly decent at her job, much to Dennis’ surprise- she’s useless in all other areas of their lives, and it’s fitting that she’s only good at helping her dear, dear brother whom she adores and is inferior to in every way.

He let his faith rest in her and didn’t even glance out into the waiting room until around four when he noticed that Dee hadn’t sent anyone back in a few minutes longer than reasonable despite the clear sounds of voices to be heard. 

He was already ready to yell at Dee for being a useless bitch of a secretary when he saw the customer in question- that guy from a couple weeks ago. Mac, his brain supplied. He quickly realized that this was not, in fact, Dee’s fault, this guy is just the  _ worst. _

He turned his head when he heard Dennis’ office door open, and immediately he went from looking exasperated to exuberant. “Hey! Mr. Veterinarian! Your secretary sucks, dude,” he chirped in a painfully peppy way, ignoring Dee’s childish protests. Dennis privately disagreed but outwardly made a show of agreeing heartily. Mac’s dog (if it could be called that) was resting at his feet, collar attached to a leash that lead to Mac’s hand.

That wasn’t what surprised Dennis the most, though.

Whereas last time Mac had been covered in clothing like a Sphinx cat with a cold, this time Mac was only wearing tight jeans and a tighter sleeveless shirt. Not exactly the best attire possible, but Dennis couldn’t help but let his eyes linger anyways. 

“She’s unpaid, so I don’t really care.  Mr. McDonald, was it? Do you have an appointment this time or no?” The way Dee was huffing suggested that he didn’t, but it was always worth asking, no?

“Yeah, I do! I swear! Your stupid secretary just doesn’t believe that like, my appointment is real or whatever!” Mac was far too pissed about this for his own good, so Dennis quickly went behind the desk and nudged Dee out of the way to check the computer.

“Well, let me look for you. What’s your full name?”

Mac mumbled something inaudible.

“Sorry, what?” Dennis looked up, waiting patiently.

Mac awkwardly looked at the ground. “Ronald.”

It took Dennis a moment to piece it together, but when he did- “Wait, your name is Ronald McDonald? Holy shit, man, that’s unfortunate.” He didn’t see the point in actually mocking the name because, after all, the man is a paying customer even if his name is Ronald  _ fucking _ McDonald, but he was most certainly more than a little bit taken aback.

Mac, the poor guy, was bright red and had his arms crossed in a way that was probably supposed to be indignant but came across more as ridiculous than anything else (not that it mattered- crossing his arms made his muscles stand out in a way that honestly had Dennis  _ floored _ ). The only answer he was granted was a mumbled, “shut up,” which further confirmed his theory that poking fun at the name would get him nowhere. 

Dennis found the appointment on his schedule doc easily and was able to expeditiously infer exactly what had caused Dee to dismiss it as a joke. “Now here’s your problem, Mr. McDonald. My sister, like most other non-veterinarians, thinks its not possible or at least extremely unlikely for a dog, especially of that size, to consume, and I’m quoting,” he paused for a second to achieve the intended dramatic effect,  “‘an entire fucking dildo’. This is not only possible but also clearly plausible. My only question is where did he find a dildo?”

To his delight, Mac noticeably grew more flustered as Dennis spoke. By the end, his face was scrunched up and an astounding shade of vermilion and the only sound he could make was obnoxious stuttering. “I- well, see- uh, what happened is- okay listen hear me out- it’s not mine I swear it’s, uh, Charlie’s?” The lie was evident in his words but Dennis was sitting at a comfortable two cups of coffee that day which was not  _ near _ enough to deal with whatever the words Mac was mumbling meant. 

So he did what he’d been doing and he let it slide. He let his questions go unanswered and instead aimed a sharp comment at Dee and invited Mac to follow him to the examination room. 

Again, Mac was filled with questions throughout the entire procedure, ranging in relevance from ‘do you think brunch is a viable meal on Tuesdays?’ to ‘how do dog brains compare to human brains and do you think dogs can be bisexual like you?’. Dennis answered them all with grace, putting actual thought into some and giving toss away answers to others. He found himself enjoying the company- most people either stay in the waiting room or stay silent the entire examination, but not Mac. 

No, Dennis could tell Mac was different in more ways than he ever dreamed one man could be. 

The fucking  _ nine-inch  _ dildo was removed from Poppins without issue and Mac was given a new bottle of drugs to feed his dog each day, which Mac studiously took to heart while smiling down at Poppins. “Hear that, bud? You get to stay stoned!” The dog made a small huffing sound in response and Mac beamed. Dennis could feel his heart in his chest and he was surprised it wasn't audible to the man beside him.

After bidding their goodbyes, Dennis didn’t let himself sit for even a moment to think about whatever godawful emotions were coursing through him whenever Mac was around, as those feelings were new and rare and Dennis did his best to avoid words like that. Anyways, why think about such trivial things when there’s still work to be done?

 

Dennis wasn’t used to seeing his patients more than twice a year at most, but he quickly got accustomed to seeing Mac at least once a month if not more, be it because Poppins is old and unhealthy or because the man simply can’t properly care for animals. 

No matter the reason, Mac’s visits became something of a common occurrence in the office.

After the second time, Mac came back four and a half weeks later to report that Poppins wasn’t eating because of his meds or some shit. The same cycle repeated- too friendly banter, a too close comment about sexuality, an odd outfit that catches Dennis’ eyes, and a pain in his chest just from being near him. 

Mac, to his credit, seemed to be genuinely oblivious as to how his visits were affecting Dennis, as well as to how odd it was to be considered a regular at a clinic. Dennis mentioned the second point out to him while checking Poppins’ eyesight, and was pleased with the response evoked.

Mac was indignant at the implication that he’s responsible for Poppins’ misfortunes and immediately aimed to turn it around on others. “Well, clearly I’m the most responsible and awesome pet owner ever because like, I care about Poppins enough to take him here a lot, right?” Yes, clearly. Dennis placated him with gentle words and an anecdotal tale of an even worse pet owner who accidentally starved his dog because he didn’t realize dogs need food. 

The fourth time was a lot to deal with- Poppins had digested glitter, of all things, and Mac was trying to figure out if the glitter would “turn him gay,” as if that was the biggest issue with a dog digesting i2nedible flakes of crushed up minerals. When asked where the glitter came from, Mac would only respond with something involving ‘laundry’ and ‘club’ and left Dennis to put the pieces together.

Dennis was utterly enraptured by him. 

He was an enigma, a puzzle, a labyrinth of ideas and contradictions, and Dennis always loved to be challenged. He enjoyed pushing any button he could discover and he loved studying Mac’s reactions- the scrunched up forehead when Dennis started using technical “nerd” terms, the laugh when Dennis offhandedly bitched about a woman who brought her pet  _ chinchilla  _ to his cat and dog clinic, the puppy dog eyes when Dennis had to give his attention to another patron because the other person had a long-standing appointment and Mac certainly did  _ not _ \- it all fascinated Dennis in a way that he refused to admit was not purely clinical. 

Acting on his fascinations was out of the question, for obvious reasons. Though their tentative friendship breaches normal doctor-patient boundaries, it couldn’t go any further than that. Not only could it result in a loss of business if anything went wrong, but it would also be a needless distraction that Dennis simply couldn’t afford right now. 


	3. chapter three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> he was just trying to buy pet food, honestly

The biggest expense in the veterinary profession isn’t the medication or the utility costs or anything that people would probably expect, it’s the food. At any given time, Dennis could have upwards of twenty animals in his overnight ward at once, and it's rare to find a person who provides the overnight food their pet needs outside of writing their eating schedule down and sometimes saying things like “Millie doesn’t eat beef or egg products, so don’t try and make her”, so it’s not uncommon or unexpected to find Dennis at the nearest Wal-Mart, lurking through the pets aisle and throwing giant bags of dry food for the dogs and wet food for the cats into his cart.

This particular weekend he was housing a stray cat and her newborn kittens, so he had to buy kitten-friendly food products as well as his normal two boxes of 9 Lives 36-pack Seafood and Poultry Favorites and multitudes of different types of dog foods specialized for each size group and each age level. Dogs tend to be a lot more specific with foods than cats, surprisingly. 

Once he had come to terms with spending $225 on food that he couldn’t eat himself and that would be gone in a week, he rolled his cart to the checkout lanes, chin up, daring anyone to look at his cartful of pet food and judge him. None of this is for his own cat, after all- Jack Bauer only eats dry food and pickles, and more importantly he doesn’t share with the patients- so it’s not like he has any weird cat obsession to be ashamed of. 

With that defensive thought in mind, he got in line in the shortest line he could find, right behind- wait.

Mac and his weird dog hadn’t been to Dennis’ clinic in almost two months, so long he had almost completely slipped from his mind. He assumed they both randomly died, but lo and behold, here’s Mac, standing right in front of him in a Walmart with a handheld basket containing a plethora of ramen and a singular Starbucks Iced Coffee bottle. Every sense in him told him to stay quiet and not interact with him, but before he could put that plan into action, Mac looked behind him to see who had gotten in line and Dennis could see the recognition flickering across his features.

“Dr. Reynolds, hi! What’re you doing here?” he asked (rather stupidly, in Dennis’ opinion, as obviously he’s here to shop for a shittonne of pet food). 

Dennis smiled at him politely and waved vaguely to his basket. “Just getting food for the patients. Good to see you- Mac, right?” he replied as if he hadn't been thinking about Mac at least once a day for the past month like some idiot. Mac nodded and grinned at him and looked like he was going to say something but wa distracted by the conveyor belt moving and prompting him to put his purchases on it. 

He took that opportunity to try and figure out Mac's outfit. He was wearing one of those stupid sleeveless hoodies and workout shorts, but somehow he made it work. Dennis seemed to have a lot more problems not staring at his arms outside of the offices, an issue that presented itself shamelessly. 

When Mac finished putting his shit on the belt behind the excess of stuff from the old lady in front of them, he turned back to Dennis and gave him a once over. “... _ Wow _ , dude.”

“What?” Dennis was taken aback by the stricken quality to Mac's tone, so he took a defensive tone to bite back. What was wrong with what he's wearing? He quite liked the dark blue jean jacket he was wearing over his button down with it's Flyers iron-on patch and the excess of buttons on the breast pocket, and the black skinny jeans he had picked out that morning always looked great on him, so what could Mac possibly be commenting on?

“Nothing, I'm just- not used to seeing you out of scrubs, I guess?” He still sounded stricken, but no longer in an alarming or possibly bad way. Dennis laughed quietly and shrugged. 

He was saved from having to respond by the old lady in front of them leaving and the registered person beginning to scan Mac's plethora of ramen and one iced coffee bottle.

The total came out to less than nine dollars, but when Mac swiped his credit card, it got denied. He looked like he was going to cry as he stared at the screen, but before he could say anything or give up his ramen or whatever, Dennis took a leap of faith and handed the cashier a ten dollar bill from his wallet with a smooth smile. 

Mac looked taken aback and embarrassed now, frowning a bit in a way that made Dennis fear he had made the wrong decision. His fears were unfounded, though, because when Mac looked back up at him, he was smiling again despite the discomfort still etched into his features.

“That’s your money, Dr. Reynolds, I can’t possibly accept that,” he said apologetically as if ten dollars was too much for Dennis to spare. The thought made Dennis’ heart clench uncomfortably as he was cruelly reminded that not everyone has enough money to do things like this. 

He shook his head a bit. “It’s no problem, honestly, I have more than enough to spare ten dollars,” he reassured, unaware of how annoying he sounded. He had over five hundred dollars cash nestled in his wallet right now, and that's not even including the money on his debit cards. He runs a high paying vet clinic with a minimum of ten customers a day, so he’s never really short on money, which he’s never seen as odd until now.

Mac didn’t seem to know what to say, so Dennis gave him an out by turning and loading his multitude of pet foods onto the conveyer belt as calmly and casually as possible.

“I- I don’t know how to thank you?” he began, holding his grocery bag full of ramen close to his chest. “Charlie and I- we don’t have much, right, so ramen is basically the only thing we can afford for weekly meals? So, um, thanks.” 

Dennis felt his cheeks warming and his nerves spiking. “If you really want to thank me, you could- I don’t know, you could let me buy you lunch?” He tried to sound casual and it took everything in him to phrase it like he wasn’t asking Mac on a date, but he couldn’t help it. Maybe he’s being stupid, and maybe Mac will say no, and maybe this is the dumbest thing he’s ever done because he  _ knows _ Mac is either straight and an asshole or gay and deeply repressed, and-

“Yeah, sure, that’d be cool,” Mac replied, and, well. Dennis would have to text his after-lunch-break client and tell her he has plans and needs a later appointment, apparently.

**Author's Note:**

> im publishing this today after literally so long of just. abandoning it. bc today is my dear friend mac's birthday!!! so go wish him happy birthday on his tumblr @suburbiamac and, while youre there, hmu @suburbiadennis !!!


End file.
